True Wealth Lies in Friendship: Epicurus and Ho Kepos

Epicurus (341 BCE - 270 BCE) was an ancient Greek philosopher who thought the good life was essentially characterized by pleasure. Life is about feeling good, Epicurus thought, and so we should do things that make us feel good.

It’s easy to scoff and splutter at this simplistic picture, “but life is about more than just eating and drinking and being merry! We have duties! We have potentials to fulfill!”

Epicurus would agree. While the modern word ‘epicurean’ has come to mean someone who champions sensual enjoyment, the actual philosophy of Epicurus is not about endless drunken revelry. Pleasure for the proper Epicurean is rich and multi-layered. Pleasure has hierarchy.

And by far and away the most important pleasure, Epicurus thinks, is ataraxia, literally meaning ‘not being troubled.’

As he puts it in his Letter to Menoeceus:

When we maintain that pleasure is the end [goal], we do not mean the pleasures of profligates and those that consist in sensuality, as is supposed by some who are either ignorant or disagree with us or do not understand, but freedom from pain in the body and from trouble in the mind.

Rather than seek short-lived active pleasure, Epicurus is more concerned with helping us secure long-term, passive pleasures, like having a body free from physical pain, and a mind free from fear and anxiety.

This is what the good life involves, Epicurus thinks: ataraxia, tranquility.

To this end, rather than chase wealth, status, or fame, Epicurus lived a life intentionally built around friendship.

Life is too short to worry about the trappings of material ‘success’; if we have enough to cover our everyday needs, we should let our grander ambitions evaporate in the sudden heat of a loved one’s laughter.

Epicurus and his friends lived together 2,300 years ago just outside Athens in Ho Kepos (The Garden), the gate of which was inscribed, “Stranger, here you will do well to tarry; here our highest good is pleasure.”

They spent their days enjoying each other’s company, discussing philosophy, and not taking the world too seriously.

While fellow ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle emphasizes the virtuous side of friendship, implying it’s a joint project and opportunity for shared excellence, Epicurus thinks enjoying the pleasures of friendship is thus a goal in itself.

From animated conversations with a treasured confidante, to collapsing into laughter with old companions: friendship grants some of the simplest, purest, and best pleasures that life has to offer, Epicurus tells us.

Friends are free, reliable, direct lines to happiness we can access any time, even when they’re not around: simply imagining their presence can be enough, just knowing they’d be there if needed makes everything better.

Good days await. Comfort is on hand. If we make mistakes, we know our friends will be there to cheer us up; if we fall on hard times, we know they’ll offer shelter.

As the Roman poet Horace, a self-proclaimed Epicurean, puts it:

My kind friends will forgive me if, as a result of being a fool, I do something wrong. I in turn will gladly overlook their lapses.

It’s not just the prospect of future friendship that reduces anxiety: we can recall past pleasures any time. Aged around 72, Epicurus was gravely ill and in pain, but he eased his suffering, he explains in a letter to his friend Idomeneus, by recollecting old times:

On this blissful day, which is also the last of my life, I write this to you. My continual sufferings from strangury and dysentery are so great that nothing could augment them; but over against them all I set gladness of mind at the remembrance of our past conversations.

Even in his painful final days, Epicurus thus found tranquility by calling to mind good times with friends.

By forming happy memories with those we love, we make for ourselves a treasure trove whose value will only increase, regardless of international tariffs, and through which we can happily rummage whenever we like.

Hence the assertion, in one of Epicurus’s Principal Doctrines:

Of all the means which are procured by wisdom to ensure happiness throughout the whole of life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends.

What do you make of Epicurus’s analysis?

• Do you think we should structure our lives more around friendship?
• Would life in Ho Kepos appeal to you?
• Or is material ambition nothing to apologize for?

To inform your answers, you might enjoy the following related articles:

• Aristotle On the 3 Types of Friendship (and How Each Enriches Life)
• Seneca: To Find Peace, Stop Chasing Unfulfillable Desires
• Nietzsche on Friends Growing Apart
• Erich Fromm on Why Love is Not About Finding ‘the One’
• Epicureanism Defined: Philosophy is a Form of Therapy
• Epicureanism: the Best 6 Books to Read

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